As a woman in recovery, you can get lost in a male dominant system and miss out on the true power of sober living and lasting relationships. Kathy Holmes is an international Yoga teacher who has taken her 20yrs of recovery experience and created shortcuts to long term sobriety. Being a Sober Goddess is not for everybody but it is absolutely possible with the right tools and the right teacher. Discover the missing links to a deep and meaningful recovery.
They are drinking because life is difficult for them at the moment. Perhaps life is difficult for them more generally.
Life is hard for everyone. What was revelatory for me, was flipping this idea around.
To consider that I might be having a difficult time because I was drinking. Because if that was true then I had a simple solution. To remove alcohol.
Customer case: The boy who cried wolf No alarm without fire, that is a bold statement. It was just the silence and Mother Nature, no one around—it was an awful lot of magic there. And the more time I spent working on what had caused me to be a drunk in the first place, the less afraid I was of that particular ghost returning. That person was very selfish and hurt a lot of people. Birds and the bees. I do miss certain things. And I would go home and clean myself up.
Not easy, but possible, with a little help and a lot of commitment. This was a much more empowering concept. After all, alcohol could be removed. And life might be much easier in the future. This new idea quickly emerged as a beacon of hope for me to move towards.
What if everything I wanted was on the other side of my final hangover? What if drinking was the thing that prevented me from living a beautiful and peaceful life?
Reinforcing the idea that alcohol is a coping mechanism currently run amok offers less in terms of a longterm solution. Tell them that you love and admire them, and try to support them in their quest to live sober in a booze-loving world. Offer them soft drinks and encouragement.
Let them lead the conversation. They likely know a lot more about drinking problems and their possible solutions than you. If they are very close to you, you might want to educate yourself about the sneakiness of addiction. Relapses tend not to come out of nowhere. There are signs. You may want to find a support group of your own. Accept that your friend might be more distracted and less available for a while.
Let them be selfish as they learn how to live without their crutch. Try not to take it personally, and give them space. It was a while before I felt relaxed being around my friends who still drank, especially when they were drinking.
I do not mean to say it takes that long for everyone I have always been a late bloomer , but for me the two year point marked the end of my resistance and the beginning of my overwhelming gratefulness. Those of you who know me, do not be alarmed. I might even have a day when I want to talk about something that annoys me about my newly awakened senses…. But know this: I am a grateful, happy, joyfully tearful, fortunate, sober person.
Absolutely Sober tells the story of the origins of Alcoholics Anonymous in 19th Century Evangelical Christianity. The subtitle is taken from a phrase written by AA . Absolutely Sober: A History, Principles and Practice of the Destruction of Self- Centeredness by Creating a Sober World, Inc. () [Inc.;George.
And I am feeling every one of those emotions in this minute as I write. Maybe, just maybe that deserves an exclamation point. Or two…. Author, Marilyn Spiller is a writer, speaker, sober coach and recovery advocate with a year history of international hobnobbing and outrageous over-drinking. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.
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